How much advice about dating have you read from thousands of magazines and self-help books? Some of them may be helpful but a lot are rooted in personal opinions rather than actual studies about relationships.
Listed below are five pieces of advice that are commonly misguided.
1. Play hard to get
Research on mutuality shows that we like people who like us too. The best way to show someone that you like them is to let them know you are interested in them but also make sure that you show them you have
standards. Don’t act desperate.
2. You’ll know if you met the right one
Paul Eastwick and his colleagues found that the timing of various relationship milestones and people’s feelings were the same for both short and long-term relationships.
3. Find someone really different from you
You’re that cautious person and here comes that spontaneous person and you just can’t help but be
fascinated with them
This might initially work but may end up being a source of conflict in the end. That calm person becomes
anxious with a reckless partner, and that emotional person becomes disappointed by a rational partner.
4. You will never meet a good person online
Some people online lie sometimes but, research shows that lies have become rare because online daters have realized that if they create a fake persona it will be revealed eventually, and that sums up the end of the relationship.
5. During courtship, always put your best foot forward
Waiting months to share personal information is not a good idea. It’s true that first impressions matter but sometimes it’s not a good idea.
Mutual sharing of information about each other is key to building up intimacy. If the person fell in love with you without emotional intimacy is probably not the best person you want to have a serious relationship with.
