The money talk is a hard but necessary thing as a relationship progresses. However, putting too much
emphasis on money and not enough on your relationship with money can lead to dating disasters.
When Should You Have The Talk?
Men resent women who bring up things like salaries right away in the first few dates. It makes them feel like their female companion is a gold-digger.
Women tend to bring it up too soon because they are trying to “qualify” the man with their predetermined checklist. However, that is a mistake that will cause them to be alone.
Most dating experts say the time to talk about money is when you start to get serious when you’ve dated
exclusively for at least six months.
By that time, both of you would have revealed a lot about your jobs, your families so talking dollars and cents is just another step.
Don’t Start Talking Salaries
Salaries shouldn’t be the focus of the discussion. The focus should be both of your relationships with money. That includes whether you depend on money to create your identity or build your self-esteem, the kind of life you want for yourself, how you prioritize spending, and whether or not you value savings and investments.
A couple should talk about how they feel about women working after having children, feelings about if the woman earns more than the man, and how you have handled money in the past.
Failure to see eye-to-eye on money priorities and the type of life each wants will cause problems in a
marriage. It could be that you realize you both have different expectations that don’t jive.
Actual dollar figures should wait until you have resolved these questions and are thinking about spending a life together. Then, it is just a matter of money management.
Final Thoughts
Any financial plan a couple decides on should be something both can stick to for years, or even decades. Expenses will come along, as will children. The plan must be sustainable for both of you to have the quality of life you want.
