Relationship experts admit that there’s not formula for a health relationship. Still, there are some things that most love gurus admit can create the foundation for a happy marriage or partnership.
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Resolve conflicts with communication
The take-away is “don’t let stuff fester.” When an issue comes up—about finances, sex, jealousy or shared responsibilities—don’t let it marinate. Addressing the problem immediately can help prevent harbored resentment and bigger issues down the road. If you’ve hurt the other person’s feelings, recognize the person’s feelings, even if you’re convinced that you’re right and they’re wrong. You may even want to consider couple’s counseling to help improve your communication skills.
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Make time for the two of you
Jobs, kids and other responsibilities can leave us little time and energy to devote to our relationship. But research indicates that couples who engage in fun activities together may find it easier to stay together. There’s science behind the move: one study found that partners who took part in fun activities saw an increase in the “love hormone,” oxytocin, which helps with bonding.
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Spend time without your partner
Spending time without your partner—either alone, with friends or family—can be important in developing your sense of self and closeness in a relationship to avoid feeling “trapped” by one person.
“A healthy relationship is a bit like breathing in and then breathing out,” explains Alex Psaila, clinical supervisor at Relate North and South West Sussex, a charity that provides relationship mediation and support. “If the relationship is too loose, suffocating even, then the couple [becomes] merged and there is little scope for exploration and growth, of other interactions, of missing your loved one and wanting to return, bringing new ideas and energy into the relationship.”
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Show your partner appreciation
A 2017 study found that one of the main reasons for long-term break-ups was that one of the partners wasn’t showing enough attention and affection. This can be done through time, conversations, sex or appreciation of your partner’s body, or even well-thought-out gifts.
