Introduction

So, you have been with your partner for a few years, and you find yourself wondering if they might be bored in the bedroom. Maybe you guys are intimate less frequently, or perhaps you are seeing your mind wandering during that one on one time.

The truth is, more people find themselves in this position than you might realize. A while is not frequently talked about publicly. It certainly is commonly thought of by hundreds of thousands of couples around the world. So how do we fix this problem? We start by addressing it.

So, How Do I Bring This Up?

I know, I know. The task of bringing this up to your partner sounds impossible. You don’t want to make them feel bad. You don’t want to hurt their feelings. But this type of conversation is essential to have – because communication is key!!

We cannot have healthy relationships with our partners without productively communicating our emotions.

So the best way to talk about this will be in a light and playful way! Think of ways to suggest new ideas and brainstorm together instead of making it a one-way conversation.

You don’t want this to feel like you are scolding your partner, but more like opening up the conversation for both of you to discuss your needs and curiosities. Communication can open up the door for multiple different paths to get everything feeling more exciting in the bedroom again.

Okay,

What Is Some Of These Paths?

One of the first things that I always recommend is to go back to the beginning. What were some of the erotic feelings that you both got off to when the relationship first started? Are you performing sex as often as you used to?

How did you make each other feel good?
If the sex weren’t good, to begin with, likely, you wouldn’t have stayed together for this long, right?

Maybe somewhere along the way, one of you got lazy, perhaps both of you.

Another possibility would be adding a new element to the foreplay. Foreplay can range to many different things, but a simple stepping stone would be introducing a fun, intimate game during foreplay.

Or you could start to watch some xxx videos, which I know may sound a little awkward at first if you are not usually into that, but trust me when I say that it can help change the mood around.

The Forbidden Fruit, Toys!

Alright, alright – I know this sounds scary. Walking into your local adult toy store and being surrounded by dildos. So scary! But honestly? So helpful! When you and your partner pick out a toy, this opens up the doors to some excellent communication!

Picking a toy makes you explain what you want and what you don’t like and can help your partner learn how your body works in a way they may not already know. You can always ask the sexual health consultants at the store if you have any questions.

The truth is, most people don’t know what they like and what they want. When this open communication has not been around for the entirety of the relationship, sometimes a person’s desires are never really explored.

And trust me when I say technology has come a long way. Did you know that there are toys now that work on Bluetooth? You can control your partner’s pleasure from all around the world!

Bringing toys into the bedroom will become a step that you won’t want to skip in your foreplay routine! It is something brand new, and while it may seem a little nerve-wracking at first, you’ll thank me later.

Great! I Think I’m Ready To Give These A Try!

The most important thing to remember is that both you and your partner feel loved and safe. There is not a simple solution to this problem without teamwork also a lot of love and compassion. Now go out there and get your intimacy on!