When you feel you’re being taken advantage of, it is time to set some boundaries in your life whether it is for your job, friends, or your relationship needs. Let’s look at some examples that show you’re being a pushover for everyone in your life and not standing up for what you truly need.
Does this seem familiar?
- Your so-called girlfriend doesn’t want to date exclusively, but you do, and she is out frequently on the town with other men.
- Your boss makes you stay late even though you had plans for a sporting event.
- Your date is late, has unconvincing excuses, and spends the night on her texting others.
- Your friends stick you with the bill for the drinks every Friday night.
Reflect on how you feel
Are you discouraged or even angry after this happens? Sad? You’re the one that is letting the people in your life get away with it. It’s time to set some boundaries and stand up for yourself.
Set up a conversation
Find a time when you can talk candidly with your girlfriend. Be specific about the boundaries you need.
For example, say “I need to have more time with you during the week. I feel hurt when you’re dating other men. What feels right for our dating schedules?”
You don’t need to end things if the conversation doesn’t go well. Seek solutions.
Write a boundary list
You can make a list of the boundaries you need. You don’t have to share it with everyone, but writing them down makes them concrete. Be clear about your boundaries with your partners, boss, and friends.
Stick to your standards
Set your boundaries, so you are protected from becoming a doormat to others. You can have a happy, healthy life with boundaries that support your needs. Setting your boundaries will project to others how you expect to be treated.
